Humanity today makes me sick in my stomach. Every time i come out of the house, i feel like that I’m target to every person i see; it like if someone is coming out to get me. I don’t know if it my vibe that people can detect or is it my personally that I’m too nice. Either way, I make a lot of enemy than i make friends these days. Even in metal scene, i don’t feel comfortable with people especially drunk idiots out there that some showed their distaste for me. I knew people are hateful today for no reason and I’m not surprised by this. After being picked on and bullied during my grade school years, i have these fear that someone is out to get me and that when the anxiety kicks in when i want to get out of the crowds and head back home to my sanctuary. That’s why I’ve taken Shotokan and Shaolin Kung Fu to protect myself and others that i truly matter to me.
Every time i met people where i locally at (in the city), they be cool to me at first because i know that their pretending to be all cool with me when deep in their mind, they hate my guts when they found out who i really am. They asked for my social media and i denial that i have no social media at all, so i exchange numbers with them and they give me their. Later on, i texted them and at first responded to me. It wasn’t even a simple conversation. It was nothing more than “hey how are you?” type of crap. Any other days, when i text them to see how they doing as what a person with mortality and dignity does, they flat out ignoring my text. I knew they hated me for who i am. I get that you’re busy with life, job, kids or whatever the hell people do these days, but to flat out not say anything to me it goes to show how pathetic they really are to do that. I knew their was something fishy about them and how ignorant, hateful and disgusting they are. It remind of how much humanity throughout history betrayed, kill, rape, treason, and plagues. And we still do it today. It goes to show that even though we’re advanced in technology in society, violence and barbaric acts still carried on as long as we exist.
Even since i got this curse i don’t why that cause me to meet disgusting filthy humans, that treated me like I’m a piece of shit to them. I learned that people today are so evil. I’m not saying that everyone are like this because i have small group of friends from mostly online that i really trust, but unfortunately i met many people throughout my days that are evil. They’re don’t have respect anymore and they will find a way to destroy your repetitions without any remorse. As cold as people are, they’re more narcissist when they focus on their images and use people to get what advantage someone has and then stab them in the back. When they done, their wipe their victims off the map because they hate them deep in their heart. That’s how much evil humans can get. For awhile, i tried to distance from people and don’t want anything to do with them. I’m more of a outsider to many and I’ll let it stay that way. That’s the only way i can do this. There’s no way around it when you deal with people in various of situations especially jobs. I always get shit done what they want, keep my mouth shut and get out of here. I just don’t like dealing with people any longer. I just hate em! The way they treated me and the way they look down upon me. This is why I’m a misanthrope. I don’t care what your races, religions, creed, culture, genders or how you look. Humans are all the same but with different customs and cultures. What they got in common, is they’re vermin without sympathy, caring, benevolent, and affable.